mid-binge reset

So I was able to stop myself about 1/2 way through a binge tonight. I'm both proud - for stopping - and angry - for starting to begin with.

I set myself up for failure today. I started with a run which was good, but then the BF (who's leaving town tomorrow) and I went to breakfast where I was just a little indulgent (poached eggs, hashbrowns, dry wheat toast & jelly). Then, because I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, I rushed to get to work and didn't eat lunch before hand or pack a proper dinner. Failing to plan is planning to fail.

So I succumbed to the vending machine, then on my break I printed out a picture for the BF to take with him and there was easter candy on sale in front of the check out. So I grabbed some. In the end I had a bag of pretzels from the vending machine, and some reeses peices, min cadbury eggs, and wheat thins. I didn't finish any of it. Thankfully, I thought to log onto PT and seeing other posts for Binge Free May made me stop. I think I still have to consider it a binge though. Argh! I'm so mad at myself. I know it stems from sadness - the BF is going to be gone for 3 months. I get to see him twice before he comes back, but that's still over a month away. I'm already missing him. I burst out crying in the middle of sex last night - partly due to the big O as well, but still.

I also feel like such a hypocrite for taking the JM detox and cleanse and then mowing down candy for dinner. Especially after I did so well yesterday going out. It just totally sucks.