Why is it so easy for me to make healthy choices? [20 Days to go]

That is today's Afformation. 

Yesterday went really well actually. I never went into the staff lounge so I wasn't faced with any sweets. I went to the restaurant with my department and ordered what I said I was going to even though I was tempted by other things. I did give in and have 4 tortilla chips, and 1 little piece of pita that came with my salad, but the rest I did great on. I finished the small salad with barely any dressing then had 1 spear of asparagus, 2 small broccoli florets, and 2 forkfuls of rice. At which point I was full and stopped! Whoo hoo.

I tried to over estimate my calories yesterday and I came to 1030. Though they say steamed on the menu I can't be sure if they didn't put some oil on the asparagus or in the rice. I also calculated the bread at 75, the 4 tortilla chips at 80, and the small greek salad at 200 (for the dressing, feta and olives since the rest in lettuce) figuring it's best to over estimate than under estimate. With my workouts I ended up with a -1164 calorie deficit! A little high, but by the time I got home from the gym - I had to do my running workout after dinner - it was late and I didn't want to eat so close to bedtime.

I think that over all I did a great job - the only non natural sugars I would have consumed would have been in the bread (white flour=sugar to your body) and salad dressing. Considering it's a HUGE difference between that and a snickers, I'd say I'm doing okay :)

I didn't realize we are getting fed at work AGAIN today. When I first found out last night, I immediately starting trying to figure out what I'd be allowed to have. The hardest part is that they always serve the yummiest brownies and cookies for dessert. Last time I took some home and put them in the freezer for later. If I did that they can live next to the PB M&Ms and cherry twizzler bites that are in there from when I had planned to binge but didn't feel like it. Then they are there for after the challenge.BUT, I may be too tempted by them before and after I get them home. And I have no idea what they are actually serving us for lunch - it could be salad, it could be tacos, it could be pasta, it could be nasty chinese food. Who knows? So, I have made up my mind... I'm not eating it! I am not even going to go. I am not going to check it out and see if it's possible to eat it and stay in my challenge and calorie allowance. Just because it's free doesn't mean I have to take it. We shall see how my co-workers take this. Usually my one coworker and I are there and in line as soon as lunch starts and we bring back the desserts to our desk. She doesn't like to socialize with other people and won't eat lunch with anyone else, so she may think I'm abandoning her. But, better that than ruining my goals.


I made some very minor changes to my challenge since yesterday morning:

1. I'll be keeping to a really low calorie limit 900-1100 but filling it with mostly fruits and veggies. If at all possible I'd like to keep the non-fresh calories to about 700 or less.  I'll see how this is after the first week and re-adjust accordingly.
2. My AM workouts will be strength circuits of at least 30 minutes and not necessarily 30DS. In doing the 30DS dvd today it just wasn't giving me the workout I needed (probably because my body is used to it now) so I ended up doing a second one - Biggest Loser Boot Camp with Bob Haper and really liking it. I burned 271 calories with it this morning and I am feeling yesterday's workout everywhere! I liked it alot so that's what I'm going to do this week until it's due back at the library, and then we'll see what else they have there that I can use.

In other news: I am stressed about my class. I am behind in my reading because of my time with the BF. I am behind working on an assignment I feel totally unprepared to be doing. We have to make our own checklist for the work, then actually complete the work. What if my checklist is wrong? Do I get docked twice the points? As I keep letting time slip by and decide to do things like blog, or go running, instead of just doing the damn thing I get more and more stressed about it. Then, the day that's due, we get another one due a week later. I'm freaking out.

I got my first assignment back and I thought I did really well 18/20 or a 90%. Then I opened the file with her comments and corrections. I missed SO MUCH stuff.... this is what I want to do for a living someday. How can I confidently apply to do this work for people when I see what I should have done? It really hits my confidence hard and makes me feel depressed. Then I go to these stupid staff meetings and I hate being there and all I can think is that I need to get out, but who's going to hire me? It's frustrating to say the least.