Sabotage [15 Days]

My coworker comes in an hour late today and says, "I brought Fresh Donuts, they're really good if you want some." Looks at me and says, "Well, you probably don't. But they're fresh and really good."

Really? Are they "really good"? Because with that pitch I'm not sure if they're good or not.

Seriously. Pissed.

My office sharing co-worker went and got one. Brought it back to her desk and proceeded to say. "I shouldn't be eating this. But I am going to anyway." I so badly wanted to respond. I mean, really, she complains about being fat, she complains about having to buy bigger work clothes and then she eats a donut while saying "I shouldn't."

Granted, I eat donuts. I eat too many on occasion. I don't then go to the vending machine and get chips and a coke because I'm tired, followed by yogurt and strawberries because it's 'snack time.' And I don't say to a coworker, "Oh I have peanuts, I know you're allergic, but they're really good." Which is the same as waving donuts in my face, after telling them (they're both women) that I am trying to look good in a swimsuit in two weeks.

I work with Bitches.

And I'm probably cranky from being on this Fast. And cranky from not having donuts.

Then, I went walking with my mom today only to get home and find that her husband has bought 3 dozen bagels. From the bakery. From the really good bakery that's like 30 minutes from the house.  Does the universe want me to fail?

I keep telling myself:

• I am choosing to cleanse my body today.
• I am choosing to make healthy decisions (I should say no to donuts all the time!).
• I am choosing to wait until I get to Jamaica to enjoy good food (hell, I've already paid for it all! why spend the extra money now).

Knowing that there is a definite endpoint to my fast makes this easier. Knowing there is an endpoint to denying myself the things I want also helps.