Secret Code to Success [Day 24]

I can't believe that a week from now I'll be waking up with BF again! I want to see him so badly. I've been getting really irritated on the phone with him lately. I realized yesterday that it's a communication thing. When we are on the phone we can sometimes cut each other off or we're doing other things at the same time. It's just gotten very hard. I hope we don't ever have to do this long distance thing again. Thank goodness the longest stretch I don't see him the rest of summer is 3 weeks.

Wish I was here! - One month to Go!

I realized the other day when I had gotten only 1.5 pounds away from my first goal weight (118) and proceeded to binge my way back to 125 that I was sabotaging myself. I checked my library catalog for "self-sabotage" to try to find some insight in how to stop myself from doing this. It's not the first time. I get excited by my progress and then as I get closer to what I want I freak out and mess it up.

That's when I found The Secret Code of Success.

I've just started reading it and I already I love it. The author comes right out and says that for a long time he was an over educated underachiever. That is exactly how I feel.

There are seven steps. I am only on step one, but I'm liking it already and feeling the difference. Step one has to do with Afformations, not to be confused with "affirmations." Affirmations are statements that we tell ourselves in an attempt to change our mindset. And it's pretty clear that they don't really work - think Stuart Smalley, there's a reason why he's funny and relatable. Noah St. John, the author of the Success Code, says they don't work because we are trying to tell ourselves something that unconsciously we don't believe. While our conscious brain is saying "you're successful and lovable" our subconscious is saying, "yeah right, you loser!"

Afformations therefore are not statements trying to convince yourself of something that your brain won't believe. Instead they are questions that your subconscious will automatically begin trying to find solutions to. Think about it...when I'm beating myself up for binging or for procrastinating, I ask myself a whole bunch of questions: why can't I be more productive? why can't I just things done when I should? why can't I stay away from donuts? why did I just do that to myself? How could I be so stupid? why am I so lazy? why can't I do anything right?

The product? I end up feeling stupid, lazy, fat, worthless. Because that's what I am feeding my subconscious.

Afformations there for are questions that will create a positive result. I take all the positive things I want to happen to me, and all the negative questions I ask myself and then turn them into Afformations.

So far I have:

• Why am I so successful?
• Why am I so wealthy?
• Why am I so happy in my relationship everyday?
• Why am I so happy with my BF everyday?
• Why do I make healthy choices?
• Why do I routinely make healthy choices for my body?
• How do I say no to unhealthy food so easily?
• Why is it so easy to say no to healthy foods?
• Why does the weight come off so easily?
• Why am I so productive and organized?
• Why am I so popular?
• How do I manage such an active social life?
• Why am I such a strong athlete?

Sounds cheesy I know. Some them I immediately want to answer with "but you're not!" but it's not as bad as with affirmations. For most of the questions when I ask myself I respond with, "really? why am I X?" it's a conundrum for your brain to figure out. Now, that's not to say that you can sit back on the couch with a bag of chips and expect good things to come to you. There is action involved - but that's in the other steps.

I would say that they do make me feel more positive about myself.  Instead of saying "no way you're not" in response to my questions, I thin, "am I really?" or "why am I?" So I know my brain is working on these problems. So even though they may sound cheesy, I think that they're worth trying.

Step 2 is about changing your negative image. One point that he makes that I never thought about, but which is totally true. Is that people like me, we can't trust our own judgement of ourselves. The author points out that regular self-help gurus always say set your goals, believe in yourself and you'll achieve. But if you have a negative image of yourself how do you believe in yourself enough to achieve your goals (how do you even figure out what your goals are?). And that's true. I am my own worst critic.

I haven't done the exercises yet for step two or gone on to other steps, although I am eager to. I want to know how to stop sabotaging myself. When I get close to my goal weight this time I want to keep going and lose more.