So I'm sitting in my gym parking lot where I should be running 3 miles for my training. But I've had another bad eating day. Just 45 minutes ago I finished off a 1.75 oz bag of doritos, a diet coke, and a granola bar. The last I was saving for after my run. Now instead of running I just want to go buy a cheese pizz. And eat it. I am overly tired and every time I think about my friend who will be rehersing tonight I want to cry. We were supposed to go dancing tonight but I really don't want to have to go out with her and pretend I'm happy for her. I took her to that stupid audition.
My bf is leaving town on Saturday for 9 days. Originally I was excited because my plan is to do the detox phase of The Fat Smash diet. I can't do that when he's home because it's really restrictive about what you can & can't eat. Now I just want to cuddle up with him and let him make me feel better.
I know that eating is just going to ruin my hard work for the past week. I just feel so shitty about myself right now. And I don't want to start crying on the treadmill like I nearly did on Tuesday because of my midterm. I still haven't heard from the instructor, so I'm screwed on that count too.
God I really hate what a screw up I am.
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