Epic Fail

On saturday I had written a hugely long post complete with a bunch of inspirational pictures. It was all about fitness and how I really want to be strong and toned. But because of work I had to save it before I was finished. (I pretty much only blog at work - it makes the time go by.)

Then, on Sunday I binged and purged again. 3 Donuts, eggs w/ cheese and English muffins, twizzlers, a pizza, doritos, a bag of V-day candy.

Why can I not stick to my own plans? My own goals? Why do I go for the instant gratification of sweets and junk food instead of the long term pay off of a hot and healthy body?

I am so disgusted with myself. And I know that there are deeper reasons for me doing this beyond just boredom. I do so well during the week when I have the structure of my job. But I used to be unemployed and I didn't eat this way. So why am I self destructing this? I wish I were brave enough to figure it out.