I went down, down, down

and the flames went higher.

Down another 2 pounds today, for today's weight - 124 (too high, but coming down!)

I reread my post from yesterday and I think it is funny that I said I wanted to end this binge/restrict cycle followed immediately by, I'm restricting to 600 calories! LOL.

Anyway, it's only for now. I know that when the BF gets back in a week it will be harder to restrict. It's also only for a short time and then I will start upping calories slowly. I really don't want to mess up my metabolism. If anything I want to jump start it.

Which is why I am trying to get through Master Your Metabolism again. I tried reading a book called Conquer Your Food Addiction. The whole thing is based on the author's weight loss success and "The Program" she has peddled to many people over the course of many years. The introduction and the first chapter were the only useful things about it. Oddly enough, some parts of her program are very much like ED tricks - wearing tight clothes, notching your belt tighter before a meal, drinking water before and during the meal, taking super tiny bites, mantras of "hip bones, collar bones, cheek bones" and weighing twice a day. What I didn't like about the book were the rules for the "program" - like, no beverages between meals other than flat water, anything other than flat water is considered "food," and fruit is a dessert because it's sweet and therefore can only be eaten as part of a meal. A beverage or dessert must be part of a meal, never consumed alone, and no finger foods of any kinds. Only things that are eaten with a utensil. It makes sense, but it's so restrictive, I don't see it helping people with little will power. Antway, I am taking the journaling, weighing, eat with utensils advice and moving on.

The book I blogged about earlier this year The end of Overeating was much better at breaking down real ways to "re-pattern" yourself away from conditioned overeating.

For right now I am trying the afformation "Why do I make such healthy choices?" and then just reminding myself that I choose what I eat, what I buy. For now I choose healthy foods over donuts and pastries. If I decide that those are things I want in my diet, I will choose to incorporate them as treats and work them into my calorie budget.

In the mean time, I have figured out my reward system for the next few months. The times don't include when I am gone on vacation because I can't binge then.

Binge Free for 2 weeks, Aug 6 = Ripped in 30
Binge Free for 2.5 weeks, Aug 24 = New dress to take to Europe
Binge Free for 3 weeks, Sept 27 = Running Shoes
Binge Free for 4 weeks, Oct 25 = Subscription to Runners World Magazine

The time for being binge free gets progressively longer. Because binging once a week, or once every two weeks for 1, 2, even 3 days is just not acceptable anymore.

So, I gave myself a 3 day sugar-free challenge. Today is my last day. I have only had sugar free syrup in my coffee and sugar free gum in the last couple of days. Other than fruit of course. Sadly, I'm already thinking of baking on Tuesday. But, if I can keep it to a small healthy-ish treat, I think I will be okay.

Another actress I'd love to look like. Tall and slim, great smile and natural beauty.