Sunday Stuffs

Deciding to have a better outlook today. I am planning on visiting family instead of going to see the BF in March. It will use my FF miles so it'll be free. I also just changed over my auto insurance and loan so I can start saving some money (the BF has a valid point, even if I wish he'd rephrase it).

I am also about to make Chocolate Pancakes. And how can I be sad eating chocolate for breakfast? I also came in today at 123. That's a whole pound down from yesterday. Not surprising since I barely ate. Today is going to be more normal eating. Actually supposed to be going to the Olive Garden with this girlfriend. But, I'll exercise this evening. So if I stay in the 124/123 area tomorrow I will be happy.

Sleepwalker - thanks for the comment on yesterdays post. Trust me he knows how I feel. And he in no way "meant" for his recommendation for me not coming on this part of the trip to mean that he didn't want me there. I get that. But just because he didn't mean it that way, I still felt it that way. (Does that make sense?) Besides, it's not fair to lay all our problems at his feet. My insecurities are as much a problem and my depression doesn't help either.

We have gone over this argument many times. It made sense in the beginning when he was ready to be serious, and he has gotten better. The job he took is with a company that is very good about including family members, spouses, and SOs in company events and some travel. It was a big reason to accept that offer. I told him point blank (back in the fall) that I wasn't going to put up with being left out like I was with his school friends. Enough is enough. After 3 years of dating he has to stop acting like a single guy who's making time for a girl, and start acting like a guy with a serious girlfriend (one he apparently thought he wanted to live with!).

Anyway.... I am ranting again. And really, I'm not feeling too bad today. Tomorrow I am getting on the  phone to see about seeing a therapist.  My mood swings are such that I am starting to get concerned.

Some sad yet hopeful songs one came on my pandora which reminded me of the other.... making me feel better to dance around my room.






Alien Like You was originally on a show "Being Erica" (of which the soap network only played up to season 3 and season 4 is airing in Canada and I can't watch it!) in a short version.  I love this song so much it's kind of ridiculous.  Probably doesn't hurt that Sebastian Pigott looks just like James Marsters, just younger. And I was a huge fan of James Marsters back in the Buffy days. Way back when, I went to a comic convention to meet him and was pretty much a dribbling idiot when I got my autograph.

Sebastian Pigott

James Marsters