Feeling yucky

I woke up at 6:30 and even though I went to bed early, I still wanted to keep sleeping. Which I did until 6:50.
I was supposed to go to two exercise classes last night. But I felt like crap from not sleeping well on Tuesday.

I was so upset about a failed singing audition that I basically cried for hours and didn't get to sleep until 1am. The sad thing is, I am still tired and I so badly want to go home to sleep and just skip dinner and exercising all together.

On top of that I need to make a business call that I should have not gotten to all week. I am being sued for a traffic accident (the lawyer says I'm not allowed to talk about it, but just saying it's happening doesn't count right?) and the lawyer my insurance called me friday when I was at lunch with my parents. I should have called him back on monday. I have about 10 pages of lawyer questions I need to answer and I don't know where to begin. They use really big misleading words. It has to be done by tomorrow, because the deadline to mail it back is Sunday. But I can't call him before 5pm and get a work out in with out going home before going to the gym.

Funny, how I just now realized how topsy-turvy my life is right now.

I've been battling a cold for almost all of winter making it almost impossible to sing well. Even my voice coach noticed yesterday. She said I'm sounding "fuzzy." No wonder I bombed on Tuesday. I'm on the verge of quitting my dance "team" - I put team in quotes because we haven't practiced in months. Our "coach" is so focused on teaching the juniors, that he's let us slip through the cracks. Sure, I could practice on my own, but if he doesn't care, why should I? And that's another reason I'm so out of shape.

I have been turned down twice for a full time job with my company. So I am stuck with part time and commuting 45minutes each way every day. I hated my second job that I took in fall. I am dodging all the emails from them since I quit, because I know they want me back. But it makes me want to go postal it stressed me out so much. On the other hand it is money and maybe I shouldn't have turned it down. Except I am a firm believer in not doing something that makes me unhappy.

My mother and her husband are back in town as of last week. They were gone for 6 months and living with them again is SO hard. I want to pull my hair out from my mother's barely concealed passive aggressive behavior.

I was rear ended before christmas and I have to pay $100 to get my bumper fixed tomorrow - no I didn't claim that one on my insurance!

The bright light at the end of the tunnel: I am leaving on Monday for 4 days in Florida with my boyfriend. The bright spot in my life: my boyfriend. :) He's wonderful to me. And he only ever asks if I have eaten today, not how much.

He knows that once upon a time I tried MIA, and restricted my calories a ton. I told him I was over that. I am definitely over putting my head in a toilet. But as long as I don't restrict too much. And I eat with him I'll be okay. He knows I want to be healthier, since I have put on weight in the past year (alot from stress, a little from the happy relationship fairy), so I can get away with salads.

Bright side of today: In the past fifteen minutes while I wrote this one of my many meetings was canceled for today! YAY so I went from 3 to 2. Thank goodness for small favors. :)