Whoo hoo! I am seriously so excited. Finally the fear and anxiety has lifted and I am going through the travel books seeing what I want to go see while we are there. We're starting in Spain for a wedding - I found the cutest dress on sale for $14. I was looking for a floral sundress like Target is selling for like $25. I was hoping that they'd have ones from earlier in the summer on sale. I found mine at a different store. It isn't floral, it's black and white (I'm hoping it's okay for a German wedding in Spain, I think they're not as puritan about the white wedding as we are) and I put a black belt with it and little strappy black heels... The best part is it makes me look thinner than I am right now. The neck line makes my upper ribs and collar bone the first thing you see, and since I'm a little tan at the moment, they show! I will
Since it's clearance the picture's not on their website. The closest I could come was these - Sorry they're small I couldn't find any bigger ones - mine's got a little more white in than these and bigger print:
I also looked at a Plato's Closet when I was on my lunch break - I am required to take a whole hour break if I work past my regular shift, and with vacation I definitely need to work more - since I didn't eat much (yay!) I had time to kill. I didn't find anything there that didn't look used or cheap, except a knit dress from Express with the tags still on! It was only $10 and it was an $80 dress. It looks a little like this one from VS, but mine is sleeveless and has interesting detail around the neck, under the bust, and at the bottom.
I think the subtitle for this post could be "Shopping Spree!" even though I shouldn't be spending the money. It was only $25 all together.
So, in other news. The BF called and emailed again. Said how we had a good conversation, that he looked forward to continuing it and that he missed me like crazy. Thinking about it, I think I am going to talk to him about being depressed, but not the binging, not the full extent anyway. I mean the depression is contributing to the amount and frequency, but it's not the cause. I know that if I say I've taken his adderall because I don't wan to eat, he'll be disappointed and wouldn't let me have any more. (He's offered to let me try it before so I didn't feel bad taking it.) But if I say it helps with my depression - which I feel like it is - just getting me motivated to do something is helping. It defenitely gets my mind away from food too. I feel my stomach rumble, and I consider eating, but just don't feel like it and I do something else. I've still been eating. The other day I re-heated a piece of pizza, took a bite, put it down and about 20 minutes later I realized I hadn't ever picked it up again. I also haven't hit the candy bowl at work or had any sweets since Saturday night.
I've been doing some research and, obviously, adderall has the potential for abuse and can be (or maybe it just is) addictive. That's one reason yesterday and today I only took half. And obviously, I can't take it with me on vacation. I like the stuff, but I don't want to become a speed freak or anything. I've lost a little bit of weight just from the calorie restriction, and I'm hoping that the non-processed food on vacation plus the walking will get me back to a semblance of "normal." I'd really like to be 121 when I get back from vacation. I'm determined NOT to come home and hit the fast food places like I have before. Cooking is on the list of to-dos tonight. I have to use up my produce because it will go bad if I don't. I'm going to freeze the meals and that way I have ready made healthy dinners and lunches when I come home with no work!
Okay... I really have to get some work done though, finally my day is close to over. I will probably not get to blog before or I go or while I'm gone. I'll miss all my online friends while I'm away! Take care of yourselves while I'm gone.
And because I'm starting my trip in Spain (then going to France) here's Spanish model Ariadne Artiles:
5 comments:
oh, you will looks so adorable in your dress and fancy heels! it's nice to hear you excited about going, yay! glad you will reconnect with bf that alone will make you feel tons better :)
as for the adderal i know from my son's experience with it that it is addicting. he took it w/o a script. i would never preach to anyone and i won't go into detail unless you would like me too (just ask). i believe that we all need to make an educated or conscience choices about medications we put in our bodies...that's all, plain and simple. and i would never judge you or anyone. life is such a struggle for us all!!!
shopping is awesome therapy, even if its minimal but it sounds like you got bargains so score for you!!!
best wishes for an amazing time!
Hope you have a great time. And glad you are being smart about taking the drug.
Ooohhh.., I thought you were just leaving for France. But spain too??? Soo fun!!!!
Have loads of fun :)
Have fun in Spain!!! My cousin is getting married there in the autumn and I'm so upset I can't afford to go. :*( You'll look amazing in the dress, and I think it's a perfect for a summer wedding in Spain. <3
xoxo
Hey, I was thinking about making your single lady cupcake - just wondering if you knew the calorie count? Thanks :)
Lottie x
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