And I felt like such a fat ass.
One whole wall of the bar is mirrored panels. I know I should have been paying attention to the conversations going on around me, but I couldn't help but look in the stupid mirrors at how gianormous I was. Those trousers used to make my butt look so nice, and the wide leg would fall straight out from hip. Now my ass looks huge and my saddle bags are stretching the front out. It's awful.
So... in an attempt to get back on track and really, really get back to feeling good about myself. Exercising and eating healthy and clean. It's amazing the difference I feel when I'm eating well and not hitting the take out places, and filling up on candy and junk food. With in three days I feel my moods get better and more stable and my libido goes up. So why can't I stay on that diet for more than a week? Why do I convince myself that I can have a little bit of something I know I shouldn't have?
With this in mind I'm using "Jerry Seinfeld's Productivity Secret." Sounds weird, but I think that it might help. He meant it in terms of writing, but I think it can work for anything that you want to turn into a habit. Basically you get a calendar with the whole year on it and every day you work on your goal you cross off on your calendar. The idea is that you'll start creating a chain of Xs and as you see your chain grow you'll want to keep it getting longer and longer so you Don't Break the Chain.
I've printed off three calendars from calendarlabs.com a pink one for my weight, a green one for food, and blue one for exercise and dance practice.
The pink one will go on the wall next to my scale I'm going to use up arrows, down arrows and then --- when I'm ready to maintain. Today got an X w/ a number.
The blue one will be Xs and half Xs - one direction for exercise and the other for dance practice. My competition is 10 weeks away. That's only 20 hours with my coach and I have to perfect 9 dances and techniques. I'm disappointed that I didn't get off my fat ass to practice this week. I even have stuff on video to work from. But at the same time it's not really a "work out" when I'm just focusing on technique since it's alot of subtle movement and placement. I have to work out on top of that - hence two slashes to create an X.
The green one I will cross off each day I eat my own food and don't eat out or eat junk like candy or take out. I'm hoping that this will help my budget too.
I'm not sure if a 3 calendar system is going to work. I may have to combine and just do one calendar for food/exercise and record my weight elsewhere. I used to have pocket calendar I kept in a drawer in the bathroom where my scale is that I would record my weight in. It was a free calendar but I don't have one for 2011.
Today I weighed in at a whopping 125. It was thanks to the tai take-out the BF and I got over the weekend, plus the taco bell and red vines I scarfed down on my own. But, I woke up at 5:45am this morning and worked out with my Jillian Michaels' "30-day shred" dvd and did the level 1 workout. It's a little easy for me. I only burned 230 calories, I can burn 280-300 on level 2, but since it's harder I'm going to keep it at level 1 for about a week so that I don't dread waking up before the crack of dawn. Once I'm in the habit of doing a morning workout I can go up a level.
My gym bag is packed and in the car so that I can head to the gym right after work and hit the treadmill. I really want to get back into running again so the treadmill is my only choice for now. I'm still waiting on my other Jillian Michaels DVD that is cardio so that I can do the treadmill at the gym on the days I don't work, and her cardio dvd on the days I do. Because the gym is going to eat up some major at home time. I'm expecting it to come soon.
I'm considering putting up some pics. If I post them every few weeks maybe I'll have some extra accountability. I know that I keep going for the easy pay off - delicious junk food - instead of the long term goal - being skinny. I have been invited to a wedding in July in Jamaica. I really want to look like this when I get there:
I even plan on making a replica of this dress she's wearing in recent Burn Notice promos but in a slightly brighter blue and a halter back:
1 comments:
Hey, whatever works. If 3 calendars with X's keeps you on track go for it. If posting pics helps do that too. It really is a hard thing to lose weight. If it were easy everyone would be skinny right? You haven't given up which is the important thing.
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