So, I know I only got two comments on my boy friend post - and this is a testament to how boring work is right now not only can I blog twice (more actually, some are drafts) and book all but 1 of my vacation hotels - but I need to clarify.
I get what you guys are saying. And I appreciate the sentiment. But trust me, I do miss my boyfriend. And I know he misses me. But we have never had the "need each other desperately" relationship. I started going out with him instead of a guy like that - a guy who wanted to ride an elevator 3 floors just to spend time with me. It's smothering. I liked that my BF had a life and I wasn't the center of it. I liked that my life didn't have to revolve around him. I just don't buy into the "can't live without you" or "you complete me" mentality... so I really do mean thank you for your comments to help remind me of that.
The hard part for me now is that I have less work, less money, less social life which is probably why I am depressed ... :(
And sometimes I just want to curl into a ball and hide from everyone. When he's not here it's easier to swing to the extremes of restricting and exercising or all out binging and wallowing.
The sad thing is... I know that he is good for me, he pushes me to do more and be more and not settle because I'm afraid of failure. But sometimes I'd rather wallow in depression even when that's not good for me.
4 comments:
That's so funny! I was going to go back to that original post to comment but now I'll do it here. I think it is great to have your own life. I actually do believe my husband completes me but I don't have to spend every second with him nor he with me. We've had a lot of time apart this year and the first couple times it's was manageable (cause I’d gotten used to it when he was gone for almost a year!!!) but after a while it was hard and I just wanted him home. Sometimes the time apart is good. It makes you enjoy time together more. I think you struggle between your negative behaviors and your desire to be a well rounded individual with a great boyfriend. I do too. Yes, there are times that it's easier when he's not around so I can wallow in misery and starve. BUT-that's not truly how I want to live my life so appreciate that he is in it and I know you probably feel the same. After I got a taste of being on my own again the first time he left I actually had a hard time going back to having him home b/c I'd lost my ability to restrict as much etc. My ED thoughts were winning but I’m over that now and I did miss him a lot.
It could either be that you have gotten used to the idea being apart, you are super independent or that you just don’t feel that strongly about him. People who have never spent a night apart…well that is beyond me ‘cause we were forced to be apart early on in our relationship. I will say that I cope well when he’s gone b/c I have to but I do feel the need to talk to him when he’s gone and I can’t wait to get him back. It doesn’t have to be every day (I really hate the phone) but at least a couple times per week.
sorry i hadn't left a comment. sometimes i think that my opinion doesn't matter but that's just my low self esteem :(
i totally agree with "fed up". i luv to be with my husband but i do require some separate time from him. for instance, for about nine years his work schedule was tuedays-saturday and mine has always been monday-friday. that left us both with a day off to do as we each pleased. he liked to golf on mondays and i like to clean, shop, clean, sleep in, not eat and meet with friends on my saturdays. well, a bit over a year ago his schedule changed to monday-friday. i have to tell you that it took me several months to get used to it but in the process i was somewhat resentful of not having "my day". eventually i got used to it and we did tons of stuff together. we took so many day trips to where ever we wanted. we actually grew closer only to get the kibosh on that after about 9 months. he was forced to go back to the old schedule and once again we had to readjust. now i find myself lost and not getting much done on my day. i think mainly it's cuz of my ED. i seem to be isolating myself from people and i'm ok with that so it works out good but it is what it is.
i don't believe that anyone should be with someone they don't enjoy, hence, the reason (one of many reasons) i got divorced. sounds like he is a positive influence on your life and you enjoy being with him then all is good! i think you're just missing him and wondering if he's missing you. maybe you're just not confident about that cuz you haven't been able to touch base or connect on a regular basis lately. i'm sure when you get together in a few short days you will finally be comforted and reassured.
have tons of fun!!!
Hey, thanks so much for the comment and the encouragement! I'm so happy to hear that my little blog inspired you enough to put down the candy ;) Good luck with all your weight loss goals!
Right :) I can see that I am behind here.
When I first moved together with the hubby I must admit.. He was driving me crazy. So ya I do enjoy the time I have for my self when he is away on the weekend work trips- or when he is away competing. But he does complete me.. And at the same time.. My life wouldn't be the same without him..
But there is something that is called "too much of the good thing" - an extra ride in the lift. Well, it can be cute once in a while but not all the time.. It sure is smothering.
At the end, what you should think about is how you feel about him and what you want from your relationship.. What works for me, is not always the same thing that works for you.
Not having as much work/money/social life is sure depressing.. I know the feeling way too well after I moved over here. But things always work out at the end :)
Take care of you and I hope you have a great time on your vacation when you get there.
Post a Comment