I visited my BF in his new apartment over the weekend. I did not eat well. And I didn't eat well after my return. I don't know why it has to be feast of famine with me... why can't I achieve balance? And I didn't work out Sat - Tuesday either. 1) because I was at the BFs on the weekend and 2) I was stressed with way too much to do.
I am actually working at work for the most part. (Maybe 3/4 of the time, which is a big step up from 0% of the time) and I'm trying to do job applications when I get home... it sucks. A friend of the BFs who graduated at the same time still isn't getting any job offers, but he's actually slimmed down by about 20lbs. Because as he said it: "This is one thing I can control."
As I've talked about with my therapist, my life is really overwhelming right now. There is so much that is in the hands of others - my current job ending, being hired, when I'll be hired, when I can move, living with my mother, Samson passing away. So I really need to get a handle on what I can do. What I do have control over. Exercise is one. It's also been shown to help depression. So I have got to find convenient times and "just do it." Making lists and feeling productive is another one which I am working on this week. My therapist and I don't talk about my food issues.
Yesterday was pretty bad with the food. I gave in to junk food cravings. But, today I did well. I really wanted to stop by a fast food joint for breakfast and have an egg sandwich. But instead after I worked out (JM Ripped in 30 level 1) I made a piece of toast with hummus and hard boiled egg white. Probably more carbs than my body really needed, but it tasted good and it wasn't fast food (where I would have gotten fatty fried potatoes - another craving I'm dealing with!). Then when I was getting hungry at work I had oatmeal and fruit. I'm writing down today's calories though. So even if I do give in to a craving I want to stick to my 1300 goal.
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| If only I could have the same mentality. |
3 comments:
It's hard having so much of your life depend on others "/ I absolutely cannot stand when that happens. You did well with the breakfast - cravings, and that toast sounds delicious. Hope things work out soon for you xx
Sometimes when life "takes over" it gets even harder to focus about the healthy eating. For me the eating it self takes so much energy and space in my head that when things so wrong - it just isn't enough left for the food issues..
I think maybe to ease this all it would be a good idea to focus on what you eat - instead of the calories.
Sticking to a number in it self is a stress moment.. So maybe focusing on making right choices and eating healthy instead of the number makes it easier?
Hang in there hon - things will get better.
*hugs*
How did you like Ripped in 30? I've done a few of the P90X workouts (when the weather is shit) and they're fun but I'm starting to get bored.
Your breakfast was perfect! High fiber and protein with enough carbs to help your body recover.
Stay strong and know that you are beautiful!!
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