Panick Attack

I am really excited to move into my new place. I get the keys in a week and a half. But at the same time I am freaking out.

I am still at the $10/hr temp position. I haven't had time to put real effort into a job hunt, just shooting off my resume via linked in with out even writing a cover letter.  I got a rejection email this morning from a resume I sent last night around 1am.  That's harsh.

The boyfriend and I haven't spent more than 24 hours in the same place together in 3 weeks. It's frustrating to not have any quality time with him.  I keep worrying that I'll have made this big move and we'll end up breaking up. I know that if it did happen, as crushed as I would be, that I would be okay in the long run. But, I hate to think of that happening. The way his job works being gone and working all day and all night, it makes keeping in touch a little difficult. But I see him making the effort to call me, even if it's only for a few minutes.

Today we talked on the phone and he said he was really excited to see me this weekend for his parent's summer bbq and he was happy I'd get to meet his European family that he studied abroad with in college. They know who I am of course, they've seen pictures and the kids have friended me facebook even though I don't speak their language! It's nice of them though, to be excited about me because of him and vice versa.

Unfortunately I'm procrastinating big time on my current freelance project even knowing that my second one is going to start at the beginning of next week. I'm only 1/3 of the way to the goal I set for myself and that was done mostly on my phone on the subway. I just keep getting focused on other things. Like the new show Breaking Pointe on the CW, or Season 5 of Supersized vs. Superskinny on youtube, or playing domestic housewife by cleaning the BFs apartment, doing the dishes and searching for decorating & furniture ideas for my new place.

These are some cool pictures I'd love to be able to recreate in my new apartment. I like how the second one photographs, but I like the warmer colors of the top picture. The landlord will let me paint, so I might go for that.

Any way all of this is creating a huge amount of stress. I'm up really late, and then awake super early to go to work. I have constant knot in my back and neck muscles that won't go away. And the stupid thing is I am doing it to myself! Why won't I ever learn?