Fatty McFatterson

I've been pretty bummed out the last few weeks. I haven't weighed myself in awhile, since I realized I had gained back what I lost last month. It's a downward spiral. I haven't been eating well. It's been going crazy binge eating especially tons of sugar. I was planning on getting back to working out and came down with a horrible sinus infection or cold or something. All I know is I feel like I got hit by a bus - my body aches, my throat aches and is scratchy, I've got a constant headache. The only way to get by is to take pseudophedrine and ibprofen. Then I feel okay for a few hours - enough to go into work and get something done - though I've left early or come in late every day this week.

Before I got sick I was so disgusted with myself I started considering medication. I looked up topamax. A few bloggers that I follow have taken (some prescribed others not). It's technically an epilepsy medicine, but the side effect is loss of appetite and some doctors will proscribe it for weightloss or binge eating. I can find it online for pretty cheap with out a prescription. But I'm a little worried about the other side effects - like memory loss, fatigue, loss of concentration, and hairloss. The other thing I considered trying was adderall. It's basically an amphetamine prescribed for adult ADHD. My BF got a 30 day sample from his doctor and has only taken it once. He thought it would improve his concentration for work and school, but I don't think he likes the thought of medicating himself. The downside of that is that he'd never give it to me. I'd have to sneak a pill and see if I like it, then figure out if I could buy it.

I know that I have lost this weight on my own before and I should be able to do it again. But I seem to have lost all the will to do so. I just don't know that unnecessary medication is the way to go either.