When I'm down

I have been staring at the exact same number on the scale since Friday. On the hand that's good, I'm not gaining. I haven't gone off the rails with eating either - though a huge part of me wants to so badly. Because yesterday I just felt horrible the whole day.

Monday night at work, somebody on one of my networking pages posted about a job opening. I read through it looked like I'd make a good fit, and it is a step in the right direction for my career transition. I mention that to her and she gives me the contact info for the HR person. I decide to wait until I get home where I can write up a proper cover letter and fix up my resume.

I go grocery shopping after work and as I leave the parking lot my car starts making a horrible noise. I stop, get out, get on the ground and see that something is hanging down from my car dragging on the ground that is making the horrible noise. It's nothing engine-threatening, but I call the BF anyway. He helps me with that problem over the phone and tells me what to put in a contact email for this job opening. I go back into the store, buy some duct tape, go back to the car, lie under it and do a quick fix on it. Go home.

With all of that I work until 5am on my cover letter and resume. Sleep for 3.5 hours and get up to send the email, and go back to bed. I also email a question the BF about my resume because it's getting kind of long now. And I got no responses.

The BF finally called me around 10pm because he was working all day. But it's day 2 and nothing from the HR person, though she did look at my LinkedIn profile. I am feeling super discouraged, and even though the BF assured me that she is just busy and that I can't take the lack of a quick response as a rejection. He was also nice enough to stay on the phone with me while I was all weepy even though it was midnight his time and he had a 7 am meeting in the morning. Edit: And then he called again tonight when he was done working even though it was nearly 1am, to find out if I was feeling better.

I can almost look at it as a good thing because now I have a solid cover letter template that I can quickly tune up for other postings. And yet all I did yesterday was feel down on myself and cry for being a miserable failure. I finally get off my ass and do some work, make a contact and try to get a job that I say I want. And boom, nothing. And even at this point, I'm still so pessimistic that I really don't expect anything to come of it.

All I really want to do is eat the entire box of See's Candies that my mom sent me for Valentines washed down with a few ameretto sours. While watching horrible tv before falling asleep crying.